Bonita
Friedman describes envy as “one of the scorpions of the mind” in her article
“Envy, the Writer’s Disease.”[1]
She eloquently explains that envy does not require two people, only one mind
that splits into two. The mind flips between telling the self that it is good
or bad; either way, the self is consumed with these fretting thoughts. Projection
plays a major role in the formation of envy. Humans project ideas onto their
peers, believing that their lives are in some capacity better—or even perfect. And
while the self is consumed with envy, the self is not doing, just thinking. Envy—particularly
in an academic or athletic setting—can be argued as the stem of all excuses and
the resulting lack of productivity.
It is because of envy that the self thinks
it is bad—partly in true comparison to its peers’ accomplishments, partly in
comparison to those naive notions projected onto its peers—and therefore finds
any effort pointless. This is the moment when the self is convinced that any
attempts at improvement will be fruitless because they will never measure up to
their peers. Then the self decides to self-destruct by watching ten consecutive
Grey’s Anatomy episodes on Netflix because
studying or working out will only create a zero sum improvement when measured
up next to competitors.
Envy can also cause a lack of productivity when the
self is convinced that it is good: “my
C- in Chemistry means that I am still doing better than half of the class.”
This student is comparing itself to its peers in order to justify her/his grade
and will therefore convince her/himself that they do not need to work any
harder. This student may also project ideas that somehow the top half of the
class is at some advantage and so she/he can therefore do not better than that
C-.
I found this article particularly
important as we students prepare for finals. Bonita Friedmans’s advice that the
“antidote to envy is one’s own work…Not the thinking about it. Not the
assessing of it. But the doing of it.”
Instead of comparing ourselves to our classmates in this great shark tank of a
University, let’s just do our own work.
[1]Bonita
Bravo! I am glad you read and enjoyed that article. I cut it out of the paper a long time ago and have found it "good to think with" ever since. I love the way she analyzed the word "fret" and brought to life the image of a self scatching away at itself, just like we do when we won't let something go. My goal is to get into the "zone" as often as possible. Through writing, mostly, but also reading, or preparing for class--the communion of minds thinking together is the beauty of academic work.
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