This Latin phrase, meaning "I will find a way or make one," is the motto of my all-girls prep school, Holton-Arms. Though originally attributed to Hannibal when generals of the second Punic war thought that he could not cross the alps with his elephants, it is applicable to much more than this specific instance; it is my motto for life, and I think it is one that all should adopt, or at least consider.
Being an all-girls school that was founded 19 years before women received the right to vote, feminism was unconsciously pounded into us (not to say that we were brainwashed, but we assumed that girls could be powerful beyond the classroom). When the administration decided to show us Miss Representation, most of us had the same feelings: we knew that inequality between women and men existed, but it did not seem real to us since we did not have to personally encounter it in our occupations as students at an all-girls school. It was only over this spring break that I first felt truly unequal as a female.
In relation to Anna's post, my first realization that I was valued as less than a man happened in the Middle East, specifically at the Dome of the Rock, one of the holiest sites in the Islamic faith. Most girls in our group dressed in skinny jeans or leggings (I was in leggings), but for some reason I was singled out. Our guide said I was dressed fine, but because it was raining and the site was nearly empty, the guard felt "bored" and decided to target me for dressing inappropriately. The guard, with a gun in hand, told me I needed to wrap a scarf around my legs and cover my chest, or else he would seriously throw me out. His tone, message, gestures, and gun made me the most frightened I had ever been. The screaming of old Islamic women in the background (they are brought to scare non-Muslims from the site) increased my fear.
I, like Anna, wish that efforts were put to advocate for women's rights in places where they are not even at the same level that we have attained in the United States. Beyond rights, I hope to see change made so that women can feel more secure of themselves. Again, my ten years at an all-girls school gave me the gift of confidence. I feel sorry for women that suffer from what Sylvie Tenenbaum dubs "Tinkerbell Syndrome."2 The words that Tenenbaum used to describe this illness - "obsessed with appearances," "behind the facade," "narcissistic," "subconscious desire for vengeance," "dependent on others," and "dysfunctional" - are all qualities to which I assign negative connotations; I hope to never fit those descriptions. I think these issues rise from the need for outside reassurance. Therefore, I wonder if the issue needs to first be targeted from the woman's point of view, or if we need to first re-educate boys and men about women's capabilities - we are able for a lot more than screaming to keep aliens away! Just look at Christine Lagarde.
Holton-Arms is proud of our alumna Christine Lagarde, first woman Managing Director of the IMF. (From this article and from anecdotes I have heard at school, I think she was a bit of a high school femme fatale.) During her address to Holton's class of 2012, she encouragingly said, "Challenge yourselves as educated women to be the driving force for change you want to see in the world."3 Lagarde mentioned that our motto stands as a source of inspiration for her. I hope we will continue our "game plan" of how to find a way or make one to bring about change with respect to gender equality.
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1. Laurence Cocandeau-Bellanger, "Elles Sont Actrices de Leur Parcours," Interview, Ouest-France, May 29, 2011. Translated from French into English by Julia Douthwaite.
2. Sylvie Tenenbaum, "Qui Sont les Nouvelles Femmes Fatales?" Interview byStephanie Torre, Marie-France, March 2012, 72-73. Translated from French into English by Julia Douthwaite.
3. "IMF Chief and Holton Alumna Christine Lagarde '74 Challenges Class of 2012 to Inspire Others." Holton-Arms School. Last modified June 12, 2012. Accessed April 7, 2015. http://www.holton-arms.edu/page.cfm?p=370&newsid=1429.
This is a rich and interesting article, thank you. It raises many issues beyond the mere "femme fatate" theme, so it is difficult to know how to respond. Since the recent incident you describe is the most dramatic incident described, and the one most likely to incur the wrath of your readers, I will simply note a lesson I learned on a visit to Tantur (ND's institute located between Jerusalem and Bethelehem), when I was Asst Provost for Internationalization. It was one of the most confusing trips I ever took. Hearing the Muslim call to prayer echoing through the air, in the morning at Tantur, then talking with Jewish friends in Jerusalem about their daughters' warm memories in the Israeli army, and going through to the West Bank for dinner with some friends of the Tantur staff, who are ardently pro-Palestinian, was a recipe for insomnia. At breakfast one day, someone told me this useful formula for visiting the Middle East. He said, "Those who visit for a week go home and write a book. Those who visit for a year go home and write an article. Those who stay on longer realize they do not understand a thing."
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