I
think this is relevant in other aspects of life other than writing,
specifically college life. Yesterday at lunch, one of my friends told us how
she had just found out that she had been rejected from both internships she applied
to for this summer. Then another friend said how she had also just been
rejected from a job that she really wanted for the next school year. This all
stemmed into a conversation of how before coming to Notre Dame, most of us
hadn’t faced that much, if any, rejection but once coming here rejection became
the default. Through worrying about the future and its uncertainty we do often
forget about the positive. These two friends, for example, are studying abroad
next year, a positive in their lives, an acceptance. In the current moment,
however, the rejection seems like the only thing that matters because of its
relevance to the questions of our upcoming plans. It is difficult to look at
these situations positively, but as cliché as it is, I truly believe that “everything
happens for a reason” and in the end it all works out.
[1] Bonita Friedman, "Envy, the
Writer's Disease," New York Times Book Review, January 26, 1989: 1,
35, 36.
Thank you for sharing these candid thoughts. As a professor, it is easy to forget how punishing the life of an undergraduate can be. Yet those of us in the faculty who keep writing and submitting things for publication are well aware of the powerful drag felt by rejection. Nevertheless, I think it is important to keep putting yourself out there and to learn from the rejections. Maybe your friends could try dropping a line to the erstwhile employers and asking for constructive criticism about their application, so that they could turn it into a learning experience? I hate rejection, though, and have felt its sting during the past few weeks also. That is why Bonita Friedman's article is so valuable to me. I love the image of creating a safe space for yourself to just be, and to keep on working in a disciplined way, as you continue to evolve as a human being and thinker. Please tell your friends that I commiserate with their issues! We are all in it, as long as we're alive and trying... you can't win them all.
ReplyDeleteOr, one might tell them, quoting my gruff old Grandpa Douthwaite, "Don't let the bastards get you down!"