Who, Really, Has It All?

As I was reading the articles "Had it All: The Feminist Mantra that Never Was" and "They Are In Charge of their Destinies," I could not help but become frustrated with this idea that women feel they need to struggle to have the perfect balance of family, work, social life, sex, etc. all the time. I find two inherent problems with this idea: 1.) The fact that women, much more than men, are charged with responsibility to commit time to family life; 2.) This concept of always having total organization and control in the chaotic world that we live in is, for the most part, an elusive and unreasonable ideal to uphold.

The idea that women must maintain a perfect work-family balance with their careers, while the same is not expected of men, is an antiquated idea that perpetuates the traditional gender roles and is no longer fitting with the changes in society. As more and more women are choosing to have careers and distance themselves from the vision of the ideal housewife, we must come to see familial duties as a partnership, where the men have responsibilities of their own. Yes, I do not deny that it must be difficult to manage a family household as well as develop a stable career, and this burden should not rest solely on the shoulders of women. In these changing times, we must alter the narrative of traditional expectations to incorporate the man into family life as well as the woman. This in turn can perhaps help to prevent the image of the career woman as soulless and incapable of compassion from gaining more traction, for both partners should work to please their families as well as further their own careers.

Additionally, I think that as we see more and more demands and expectations on our lives, the idea of achieving the 'perfect' balance becomes more of an elusive expectation. For everybody must struggle in one are of their life at some point or another. Achieving balance is an ongoing process, not a simple formula; it is ever-changing and complex, where a checklist of requirements or a four-step solution cannot reach the heart of the issue. I think that perpetuating the idea of this perfect, miracle-working woman is detrimental to the self-confidence of women all over, and instead we should present our struggles and triumphs together, simply as a complicated part of life for everyone.